I’ve reflected often on why the big city has always called to me. Whether it is New York City or Los Angeles, I’ve always been drawn to the bright lights, bustling crowds and fast-paced lifestyle. It’s been this way since I can remember. It wasn’t the possibility of fame and fortune. I never saw myself living in a mansion somewhere. Just a one-bedroom apartment overlooking the skyline as I wrote.
Life, love and a family in a small town is what I chose and I have no regrets. There is still a big part of me though that dreams of “one day”, even though those “one day”s are getting fewer and fewer as I slowly make my way to middle age. I realized over the years, it simply comes down to personality. It comes down to living in a place where you fit. I fit in the world of artists. The ones who operate slightly outside of the everyday norm. I fit in the place where entire streets are dedicated to theatre, there is a coffee shop around the corner and musicians playing in the streets. Publishing houses, magazines, galleries, comedy clubs and open mic nights. Where introverted artists find solace in the silence of each other’s company.
I have been blessed to know many artists in this small town, who are making their way in the world and working to bring their art to Main Street. It’s been slow going, but they are doing it and I applaud them.
Some may take this as negative toward the small-town life, but it’s not. It doesn’t always have to be about good or bad. I love my small town and I love many people in it. I love that my children grew up in a small town, but I also love that they’ve had opportunities to explore the world outside. Maybe they will find the big city is where they fit or maybe they will find a small town is where they are home.
Or maybe, like me, they will be torn between the two, seeing the beauty in both.
The big city will always call to me. It just is what it is. And that’s okay. You don’t have to fit to love something and to be loved. You just have to know you don’t fit and be okay with it.
And I’m okay with it.